Just Your Average Life

Of Loss, Grief, and Racial Cliches

2010-07-29T11:39:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been a good while since I posted again huh? School's closing in fast and I've become nocturnal sad to say. I didn't go to sleep until 7 this morning, and it wasn't easy to do that because...It was sad to say a rather dark morning. My dad comes into my room and asked me why there was only one parakeet in the cage (We owned two you see.) Alarmed that a bird could have possibly gotten out (our dogs think they might be flying tennis balls, I dashed in to look. I wasn't wearing my glasses or contacts so I looked all about the cage not seeing anything.

I went and nabbed by glasses and as I went to check the cage again...I saw a flash of green feathers through the slot where you can pull out the bottom of the cage to clean it out. Birds don't sit on the cage floor...and more so they don't actually lay on the cage floor. It didn't take but a moment for my mind to reach the conclusion that Ferdy had passed away in the night without any indication of being ill. Nick, our other parakeet was sitting quietly on his perch watching the whole thing.

Parakeets are flock creatures, and being the only two, I'm currently worried about Nick, who's been rather quiet. I think he might be grieving (They're smarter then one might think those 'keets...), and I'm spending as much time with him in my company as I can. He's perched on the pillows behind me at the moment as I'm typing this, fluffed up and watching me, as quiet as ever.

I had my mom get Ferdy out of the cage. I don't know how many of you have ever lost pets, but you know that the dead are rather...stiff. I've had to deal with several lost guinea pigs, and even that was hard for me to watch. I didn't want to touch him, mostly because seeing something that was so full of life the day before so still, not even breathing...it's hard for me as well. I took Nick out of his cage and sat down at the kitchen table with him on my shoulder, thinking aloud...talking just so he could hear something besides quiet I think.

Today was different for me on another note as well...Moving on to more irritating things. I helped out my sister today at her job because she hurt her back, and I was more then happy to give her a hand. But afterwards we went out for lunch, and after being forced to starve due to my numerous food allergies, and enduring some rather harsh temperatures of my father's car, which has no air conditioning and only the driver window able to roll down...tempers were rather short.

Near where I live, we have some construction going on. A few Hispanic workers were holding up traffic because the way had been partly obscured due to road work. Immediatley my sister, who was 'sweating to death' as she put it, started slamming how Hispanics were a reason our economy went sour and how they shouldn't even be here. My dad, who was I suppose eager to vent out frustration at our predicament joined up with her. They moved from Hispanics on to other races.

It just really irked me, I sat in the backseat listening and inwardly shaking my head. I tried to present an argument that might have changed their ideas, but they really don't listen to me. I do honestly feel like sometimes I really stick out in my family. I don't know why I've got different views and morals and such then they seem to generally have, but it's just the way things are.

Anyway, if you've stuck around to read this, thanks. I'll see you all in my next post.

-Soren

Dia de la Independence.

2010-07-04T19:53:00.000-07:00

Well, it's not a witty title, but it's better then just saying '4th of July!' It's been a while huh guys? Been a little preoccupied with life, all week last week I had to work at VBS at my church. For those of you who don't know what that means, VBS stands for Vacation Bible School. Just a little childrens group up for Summer for a week, and the week before that I had camp. So it's been just a little bit busy.

Where to start...well let's start with camp. Siloam, my home away from home. It was a good long week, I met some good people, for starters our cabin mates were amazingly awesome people. Yes, they did share their sodas (which is awesome in my book)! And they were great with just hanging out and talking.

I've been to Siloam for five years in a row now, next will be my sixth, and last year there as a camper, you can only go through your senior year in highschool, so this will be my last time as a camper in the summer of 2011. I can be a dorm supervisor for our church when I turn 19 but that will be a whole 'nother year to wait...Meh.

VBS...Let's go with that next. Well it was an awesome week as well. I had to look after the 2nd-3rd grade group. Not so bad, a little rowdy but they're easy enough to deal with. And kids are so truthful that sometimes what they say just makes you want to smile. I enjoy working with them for the most part, except when they annoy the snot out of me and make me wonder 'Do I really want to have kids?'

And since I'm feeling uncreative on that topic tonight, let's move on to July 4th, of this year 2010. It's ten o'clock here and I can still hear the thunderous boom of fireworks. My dog Kit (the one in my profile pic with me) is hiding behind me in that weird 'I'm going to become a doggy pillow way' because she like one of my other three dogs is terrified of thunder and or fireworks. It doesn't help that the little crackles and booms start out two weeks in advance. Poor things....for many reason I think they're sad, mostly because my mom yelled at them when they started peeing on the carpet today when fireworks started at two (I mean really people?! Two pm?!).

My family seems to gradually be losing interest in this holiday, either that or we're just short for funds of fireworks. I think it's probably the latter really. I get really good nostalgia from this holiday, and for the past couple of years I've just spent it hanging out with my friends and their families because its a little more eventful (Free food doesn't hurt either!). My church's youth group is having it's own celebration tomorrow. Said friends I mentioned aren't attending because they don't trust our Youth minister with pyrotechnics.

However I'm a little pyromaniac so I think something like this would be rather entertaining (plus more food...I wonder if that makes me a glutton. I blame it on lack of edible stuffs in this house, between paychecks and all that.) Well guys my dogs squirming about, and there are more fireworks to be seen. I hope this Independence day has been a good one. Happy July, and happy 4th.

-Soren

Trust Issues

2010-06-18T21:02:00.001-07:00

Well, it's been a few days since I last posted, and I guess not many people have visited in that time, I've gotten no comments or watchers, but that's okay since they seem to be a rather uncommon thing out here. Anyway...
My week has been rather dull, and I've had to contend with that whole 'Summer turns me nocturnal' thing. I've stayed up until somewhere in the 3-5am range before crashing and waking up around 2pm. This isn't good, since I'm gonna be going to camp next week and they have a strict 'Wake up at 6am or miss breakfast' policy. I don't know about you or whatever camps you've ever been to, but ours has a way of keeping us busy until dusk. If you miss a meal, you starve until the next. Fuel is needed there, cuz you burn it off really quick.
Unfortunatley cuisine isn't the best, but it'll keep you running.
I got a pleasant surprise, someone I thought wasn't going to camp ended up going, and it was for reasons they told me about, I'm not going to paste it up here, I'm not sure who reads this but I do know there is someone who I know who does read this. Plus they asked me to not tell anyone about the issues involving their uneasiment with going to camp.
I understood the issue, if anything I think I share it, but moving on...If any of you were wondering who this person was, it's just my friend. Worst part of it all, he's a guy. Now you may be wondering, 'What's so bad about having a guy as a friend?' Well I can tell you. A girl and a guy can't be friends without there possibly being some sort of feelings developing for the other from one side. Oh yeah, crush time...'How long?' you may ask? Too long. Again...moving on...
Camp is coming up next week, I'll be out of here from Monday to Saturday, don't expect anything up here until then whoever you are who reads this. I've just got to get myself all set up for things in the mean time. I got myself some new shoes...I just need a hair cut. It's well past my shoulders, I want it above that thanks.
I've been doing some stuff in Corel with my tablet, just drawing mostly fantasy stuff, I'm the type of artist who's slow and doesn't get things done except maybe halfway. I'm easily distracted sadly...Here's some things I've been working on...

Sorry for the large image size...but eh...it's just the way it came out. It's a dragon, I draw these things in excess, and as you can probably tell, or at least most of you artists out there, it's nothing but rough construction lines. Sadly most of my stuff hardly gets past this to the detailing or flat color stage. Maybe this one will be different.....maybe not.

Anyway...Later all...

-Soren

Vitamin Water and Goldfish

2010-06-12T19:38:00.000-07:00

Well, I have to say that quite a bit can happen in just a day or two, for one, a person can attempt to fry their brain by studying for a test that could possibly affect their choice of future college, and pull an all nighter in doing so. The problem with me (and most likley my greatest threat to a successful college cramming schedule) is that I cannnot function if I pull an all nighter.

After I stayed up all night studying for the test not (thank God) the day of the all nighter, but today, the 12th. So I at least had time to sleep that off. Ugh, I don't know why but Summer seems to have this weird thing about making me nocturnal. Must be all the free time, or some sort of magnetic polarity that screws with my internal clock and tells me I should turn into an owl.

Moving on...Today I took the ACT for the first time. If any of you from ACT inc. are reading this (I highly doubt it since this thing just started not too long ago) don't throw a hissy fit I'm not going to say anything, I wrote down the promise to not spill the beans. I woke up around 6:30 am, the test was at 8, so obviously I had some time to kill.

Funny thing about the ACT I thought I was gonna be nervous abut it, apparently not. I managed to convince myself that it was just like the highschool ACTAAP without the AAP...It seemed to work out. I took the writing portion along with the rest of it, so I had to sneak in a snack so as to not starve myself (I'm not anorexic or bulemic so that is not an activity I enjoy).

I grabbed a vitamin water Focus, mostly for the taste and the fact that the word 'Focus' caught my eye, and a bag of goldfish (which I managed to spill all over the floor about five minutes ago...no seriously). My dad drove me over to the campus -yes my father drove since my mother is terrified of me driving, I may explain that story later- and dropped me off.

It's amazing how I can get lost in a building without even trying, but at least I found my way around with a little bit of help, and direction from a Russian woman who scared the ever living out of me. She reminded me of some bird of prey, and she was a teacher so that explained the steelyness (The woman meant business).

Well, after a lot of stair climbing I managed to find the ACT room I was supposed to be in. I think I did fairly well, though I almost froze to death from the air conditioner (I forgot a sweater, plus it's summer I didn't think I'd need it), and during the math portion this kid kept sniffing and breaking my concentration. I got through Math easily, the part that terrfied me most. But it was Science that I had trouble with surprisingly...I had to guess on the majority of those and scramble on the last seven due to time constraints.

Break time rolled around and I ended up sharing my Goldfish with a few kids. It's amazing how the 'Snack that Smiles back' can bring up some interesting conversation...

Anyway...I think that's all I've got to say for now.

This is Soren, signing off. -salute-

Let's Get Started Shall We?

2010-06-10T21:16:00.000-07:00

Hey there everyone...if anyone does stumble upon this fresh from non-existance blog I like to call my own...I'd like to welcome you.

I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to write here, it just doesn't seem to have much of a purpose yet except somewhere to put down all of my thoughts. Whether it be my dreams (which have been very weird as of late let me tell you), to random ideas I've suddenly concieved to write, or even a piece of art I've just finished drawing.

Yeah, if you've looked at that little assortment, drawing, dreams, writing, I am a creative individual. I think it's one of my own escapes from what we like to call reality. My mom's been telling me that I should be more concerned with the real world, but I like to keep myself free. The world is too smothering sometimes, and I think if I didn't have those outlets, I would be stifled and probably lose touch with my inner self...But I'm rambling aren't I?

I guess since this is my first post, I should introduce myself. My name isn't Soren, but I prefer to use it on the internet instead of my real name; so that will be what I sign all of these blog entries with more likley then not. I'm a Senior in High School this year, and not ready for the real world in all it's entirety, so some of that stress may take up some of these blog posts. I'm a Leo born on the cusp to a Virgo, yes I do keep track of my astrology sign, thanks to yet again my mother who finds things like that interesting.

For anyone who cares to know, I'm a Christian. This shouldn't however, perturb you from reading my blog. I'm not a hypocrite, I don't preach. But I hope that at least some of my actions indicate my religion...if not...well oh well.

I can't think of much else to say, I may end up calling it quits on this post. So to anyone who has stumbled upon this, I welcome you to my page, and I thank you if you've at least read this far.

-Soren